Small Talk as The Plague

We passed by the few mingling bodies outside
And entered the front door
Like foreigners
In unfamiliar surroundings

Apprehensively
I awaited the moment
She would spot familiarity
And become another cow in a herd
Leaving me to fend for myself
I should have stapled our elbows together
The safety would’ve been worth the pain

As if already a member of the cattle
I strolled about the house
Faking confidence with each stride
Pretending to search for
Well…anything
But deep down I knew
This plan could not entirely escape me
From engaging the plague

So I prepared
Observing, calculating, mapping out
Which herd I would infiltrate
Occasionally they would pause
From chewing their cud
And warn me with their eyes
To enter at my own risk

Then Alas!
Behind and to my right
An eavesdrop of undertone
"Well my favorite color is white,”
A gangly, composed lady slowly exhaled her words
I embraced my opportunity
“Off-white,” I almost shouted
Elbowing, digging,
Squeezing my butt into their circle
“My favorite color is off-white.”

Uh oh
The awkward uncertainties of the plague
Began to extract palm sweat
And new-fangled ambiguity
Would my preference for off-white
Bring my relationship with gangly lady closer together
Or farther apart?
Too late
It was underway

Crabservation

Who woulda thought this guy could beat me in a race?

Why Hello

The Finish Line of Thoughts

Sun up
Lids open
Covers removed
My thoughts start racing
I think one cheated
Steroids I presume
First place: the thought of concern
For I overslept my class

Hunger
Stole second
Resulting in
1 and 1/2 Poptarts
And a steak and cheese Hot Pocket

Forgetfullness
Tripped rememberance
And completed the race
Rendering me helpless
To attend my second class

Wearing a onesie
Goggles
And carrying a duck
Which might
Or might not
Have been stolen
Stupidity dove across the finish line
Provoking me to pour
Syrup into my mug
And milk onto my
Waffles that I am currently attempting to eat

Today is a Good Day.

God has made us unique in the way we think and create. It is so amazing how BIG God is and how many ways He seems to get through to us. I feel like any way I look at it, my human nature seems to put Him in a box. Maybe I can try to expand that box until the edges are no longer seen.

I'm gonna switch modes a little bit. I want to post some writings, poems and pictures...and I guess whatever comes to mind. Enjoy.

I Like God. He's Big.

Beneath scattered trees
Sat the pebble
Alone, awake, deafened
By the upbeat music
The pounding rain produced

Fleet footed
Flickering lights signaled
The clashing echoes
Of shattering thunders
Marching through the forests

There they found
Pride had fled
And sat
The humble pebble
Held up by the mountain


Most who do know God, desire to know Him personally. We constantly strive to be intimately close to our father so that we can whisper and hear His whispers. We wake up early to meet Him, and climb mountains to find Him. It is good that we are searching with persistence. Almost forcefully we try our best to meet God, in our time, and on our terms. God wants us to be close; and thus, rightly so, we begin to expect, and expect, and expect. But what if while we are expecting…..we begin to forget?

God is huge. We can’t imagine how great. Picture in your head everyone in the world standing next to one another. Hah! I bet you couldn’t. Well God is so big that He created all of those people that you couldn’t picture, as well as all of the people who no longer live. The God we serve is the same God that Moses and Elijah served. He is the same God who challenges Job. Read the beginning of Job chapter 38 and let that reshape your image of the Lord.

Perhaps before we expect to meet God on a personal level, we should assimilate what a privilege it is. He doesn’t have to meet us. Maybe He would appreciate it if we occasionally acknowledge His splendor before, during, after, or while we meet Him.

Okay bye.

Brainwashed: a photographically cured doubt

• My doubt was simple. But maybe it was more of a fear. What if my faith is just a brainwashing? The more books I read about God, the more I believe. The more I surround myself with Christians, the more I live like they do. I’m told how to deal with my questions, “If you have doubts it’s the enemy and it would be best to just ignore.” Well what if I don’t want to ignore?What if I have doubts because I’m believing a lie? Don’t tell me not to question!

Here’s what I mean. You are in a philosophy class and your professor tells you that money is the key to happiness. He also tells you that anyone who tells you different is only trying to discourage you . You then spend your free time discussing, reading, and strategizing how to make money. You have now thrown yourself into a life of money but have forgotten the most important part….discovering whether money is in fact the key to happiness. Your mind is being trained by a lie.

• So this led me to believe that this way of thinking is wrong; that maybe saturating our lives with God can lead to a fenced in belief so caught up in itself that it leaves no room for failure. And then I met photography…
  

I love the idea of photography and I love photography. There’s something significant about being able to combine my mind and God’s creation. At first I thought that by not knowing anything about taking pictures, I would be unrestricted. But as I read, practiced, and talked to others about photography my mind became more and more trained. Trained….but not restricted. I could do more than I ever imagined possible. I found that as I surrounded myself with photography, the more I understood my passions/perspectives and the more freedom I had to reach to those passions/perspectives. And now my doubt is cured…

• So I was scared that I was being brainwashed. But maybe God created our minds this way; to be influenced by our surroundings. Just because it can be a bad thing does not mean it can’t be a good thing. I voluntarily brainwashed my mind with photography. And now that I have seen through my flesh into the reality of our God, I will voluntarily brainwash my mind with Jesus.
  

I know there is something in here that you either don’t agree with or isn't clear ….tell me what it is.