I'm 19 and You're Not!

Well today is the day
I turn 19
And I think it is time to adopt

Not a son
But a grandson
Grandfatherhood has always been a passion of mine

Plus
It would be considered socially acceptable to fall asleep
While someone is talking to me
Also
I would urinate often

My main concern
Is that he will be older than me
But I wouldn't mind if he was remarkably bigger than me
If so, I would name him Pseudoname

I would say to my friend
"My Pseudoname could kick your butt!"
Then my friend would say
"Bet he can't!"
Then Pseudoname would stomp into the house
And punch his stomach in the face!

Fire and Jake

Fireball and Footsteps

Ready,
Aim,
Fireball!

Your cannon fires
Dawn till dusk,
Reflecting off both sky and sea,
Waking up
The dust these feet will mold.

Your brother
Catches the water,
And tosses the waves;
Breaks the shore
Then starts again.

While you bring beauty,
Life, and light
To brighten
These footsteps.

Ready,
Aim,
Fireball!

Tell your brother
To bring his best;
Tell the West,
These footsteps are approaching.

MMMMM Delicious Glacier National Park

Small Talk as The Plague

We passed by the few mingling bodies outside
And entered the front door
Like foreigners
In unfamiliar surroundings

Apprehensively
I awaited the moment
She would spot familiarity
And become another cow in a herd
Leaving me to fend for myself
I should have stapled our elbows together
The safety would’ve been worth the pain

As if already a member of the cattle
I strolled about the house
Faking confidence with each stride
Pretending to search for
Well…anything
But deep down I knew
This plan could not entirely escape me
From engaging the plague

So I prepared
Observing, calculating, mapping out
Which herd I would infiltrate
Occasionally they would pause
From chewing their cud
And warn me with their eyes
To enter at my own risk

Then Alas!
Behind and to my right
An eavesdrop of undertone
"Well my favorite color is white,”
A gangly, composed lady slowly exhaled her words
I embraced my opportunity
“Off-white,” I almost shouted
Elbowing, digging,
Squeezing my butt into their circle
“My favorite color is off-white.”

Uh oh
The awkward uncertainties of the plague
Began to extract palm sweat
And new-fangled ambiguity
Would my preference for off-white
Bring my relationship with gangly lady closer together
Or farther apart?
Too late
It was underway

Crabservation

Who woulda thought this guy could beat me in a race?

Why Hello