I'm 19 and You're Not!

Well today is the day
I turn 19
And I think it is time to adopt

Not a son
But a grandson
Grandfatherhood has always been a passion of mine

Plus
It would be considered socially acceptable to fall asleep
While someone is talking to me
Also
I would urinate often

My main concern
Is that he will be older than me
But I wouldn't mind if he was remarkably bigger than me
If so, I would name him Pseudoname

I would say to my friend
"My Pseudoname could kick your butt!"
Then my friend would say
"Bet he can't!"
Then Pseudoname would stomp into the house
And punch his stomach in the face!